My interest in the field of holistic healing began a long time ago, but it wasn't until 2009 when a major shift in my perspective and understanding of my illness would really begin to unfold. I had developed a rather severe skin condition that swept over my face...just my face. It became difficult to recognize myself in the mirror and the reflection looking back was one I did not like at all. I was diagnosed with possibly two types of dermatitis because I was not responding to the various rounds of antibiotics. My condition was painful, burning, unsightly, and I was scared. My whole immune system began breaking down during these drug treatments which lasted about 8 months. I developed photosensitivity and cowered from the sun. Leaving the house was something I rarely did because of my appearance. I lived a reclusive existence for almost a year.
I also developed other sensitivities to most scents, started experiencing major anxiety and panic attacks, heart palpitations, and the list grew. I began to feel that I was losing my mind along with my body. The world felt like a very dangerous place to be and I was living in a very dark place, literally and figuratively. I had a lot of upheaval in my life the year prior to this "explosion" on my face, and during this time had begun questioning everything in my life. I reflected on this and remembered asking the dermatologist if he thought it could be stress related. He quickly dismissed my question and told me he believed that stress was overrated. I would come to understand otherwise. The stress was more like the alarm system going off. A call to begin looking at something deeper going on within me.
The Road Back
When that familiar face no longer looks back at you in the mirror, it feels like a stripping away of one's identity, and indeed it was. After every good cry of frustration and anger, I would find strength. I began to connect with holistic practitioners. Deep insights began shifting my fears. It was time to get honest with myself. I knew this illness came from somewhere inside me and not from an outside source, ie. a mysterious package left at my door. I wasn't being true to myself, and fear had kept me in that place. I realize now that my body was not only speaking to me, but it was yelling at me, "Be true to who you are and take the mask off....literally!" I finally began listening and trusting the messages of my body, my mind and my soul....and it has changed me profoundly forever! I knew as I emerged from the darkness that I was here to share this understanding and wisdom that was gifted to me. A very wise and patient holistic practitioner said to me, "Dawn, chances are this isn't going to kill you, but it's going to change you." And change me it did! I began studying and training in various healing modalities that not only helped me but also spoke to me on a deep level. What I offer comes straight from my heart ... and perhaps it will speak to your heart as well.
I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship.
~ Louisa May Alcott